Israel: A Bigly Shalom

President Trump and I went to Israel together last month.

He's always copying me.  *eye roll*

Fortunately, I am funnier.

And my tan is legit.

Otherwise, I might start to feel insecure.

Now, I can't speak for the Donald, but my dream to visit Israel began long ago.

It was 1986.

The music of tambourines filled our Baptist sanctuary.

And the Jews for Jesus danced across the stage.

A sanctified scandal.

But I was entranced.

For years, my yenta mother plotted to snag me a Messianic Jew.

No luck.

(I think she oversold my gentle spirit.)

Anyhow. While I did not marry one of God's chosen people, I did go to Israel with my gentile tribe.

And it was *pause*  the trip of a lifetime.

Come on.  Let's be honest.

Have you EVER heard an evangelical say anything less?

Always with wistfulness in their voice and moistness in their eyes. Always.

The Holy Land does evoke a strong response.

And how could it not?  

It evokes a strong response for the people that live there.

Selah

Day One:

Old City Jerusalem was beguiling.

A curious, complex tapestry of spicy fragrance lingers in the air.  While, craggy, slippery stones create uneven, windy narrow sloping streets. Woven together. Labyrinth-like, lilting.

People of every tribe and tongue amble along.  A cacophony of language and cultural lineage coalesce.

The Western ("Wailing") Wall reveals the devout Jewish piety, as prayers are tucked reverentially into the sacred ancient limestone of the second Jewish Temple.

Most tragic about their wall is that their Intercessor has come-a great High Priest.

Wail no more.

the sun was real pain. 

Col couldn't handle it. 

The selfie-stick at the wailing wall killed me. She checked her angle 6 times at least. 

The (alleged) narrow path of the Via Dolorosa, tracing Jesus' ascent to the site of his crucifixion at Golgotha afforded a poignant insight as to the great burden of his climb. 

Now, The Church of the Holy Sepulchre is the centerpiece of Jerusalem for most Christians. 

Like if this were an Indiana Jones movie, it would be all about this church.

Pilgrims can't crawl there fast enough. 

Literally.

*Allegedly* the slab where Jesus was laid out in burial is featured prominently.

*Allegedly* the location of Jesus tomb is enshrined for pilgrims.

*Allegedly* the site of Golgotha and the actual hole which held the base of the cross is availed for the devout.

It's just so convenient. All within this one church.

One stop shopping.

I sound so snarky. I know.

Forgive me.

Who knows. Maybe it is the slab. The tomb. The hole.

Maybe.

It was hard to think with all of the incense.

Oh. My. Word. The Incense.

It was like they were fumigating the visitors.

Jesus *may* have been buried here

Jesus *may* have been crucified here. 

Church of the Holy Sepulchre

Church of the Holy Sepulchre

Outside of Old City, we stopped to see the Upper Room where Jesus ate with His disciples the night before His crucifixion.

AMAZING.  This room seemed authentic. My cynical self was convinced.

Col gave the Upper Room the Trump thumb's up

King David's Tomb attracts quite a bit of a drama, singing, revelry etc... However, historians debate whether it's the real deal.

Nevertheless, it was still fascinating to see how the shepherd king gets buried.

At least in theory.

The Mount of Olives and The Garden of Gethsemane actually appear to retain some of their first century purity.

At least that's what I told myself as I climbed atop the gate to get a better angle for my photo.

Truly, we marveled at the trek Jesus made every day from the Temple to the Mount of Olives where he slept.

That was no joke.

So, as it out turn out, Israel is nothing like Hilton Head in August. (whoever said that?)

We couldn't survive two weeks here. Not even for the falafels (and they were otherworldly).

Valley of Jezreel 

Entry to the City of David

Tomb of King Jehosphaphat

Garden of Gesthesamane

Day TWO:

Truly, the Sea of Galilee is glistening and gorgeous. And Peter's hometown of Capernaum had sort of a 1st century charm. 

Featured prominently among the archaeological digs there is the *alleged* site of  Peter's mother in law's home.

Naturally, above it was a church.

Who wouldn't want to worship at Peter's mother in law's house? Obvious choice.

Let me just say, if that was her house, OH MY GOODNESS.

It was like the size of my kitchen. The whole house.

So, I was in the church thanking the Lord that I didn't live in the first century.

Not just anybody's town. But Jesus' town. 

Archaeological digs are better with cute kids near them. 

What's left of Capernaum 

More Capernaum ruins

Temple remains in Capernaum

Could it be - Peter's Mother's House? 

This guy cared so little about my photo shoot that I had to capture it. 

Capernaum over looking the Sea of Galilee with my people

Then, we visited the Church of the Primacy of Peter in Tabgha, where it is believed Jesus reinstated Peter as the chief of the apostles on the shores of Galilee.

It was certainly a beautiful spot to do it.

There my kids waded in the Sea and I took one billion photos so we would never forget this moment.

How else do you make a memory?

Seaside church commemorating Peter's commissioning 

Sea of Galilee

Finally, the Mount of the Beatitudes afforded yet another lovely church that overlooked the Sea of Galilee at the spot where scholars believe Jesus preached His message from Matthew 5.

Naturally, we reenacted it.

Maybe one day my kids will be poor in spirit.
Fingers-crossed.

Grant it, the serenity of the gardens in this lush oasis seemed a bit falsely contrived in comparison to the barren surrounding topography. 

But I liked it.

So, A for effort!

Yep, that's sweat. It's flipping hot here. 

It's clear you can't have a sacred site without a church. So, here it is. 

On our way back to Tel-Aviv, we took a quick detour to Cana to see the famous Wedding Church of Cana- which commemorates Jesus' first miracle.

This was a mistake.

Apparently, Google Maps is color blind and does not recognize racial tensions.

We ended up in a shady Palestinian neighborhood.

After dark.

Forgot all about the church.

Thought a lot about a recent Homeland episode.

And we peaced out.

Rapido.

  

Escape scene from Homeland

Ironically, that evening, I asked an off duty soldier strolling with his girlfriend down the cosmopolitan streets of Tel Aviv about the semi-automatic weapon he was toting. Casually, he explained his desire for preparedness in the event of another terrorist attack. 

Such confident resiliency marks a people chosen. I applaud this.

Day Three:

Who doesn't love a good mass suicide story? My kids apparently.

Masada was a hit. A huge hit.

Maybe I should be concerned. 

We drove two hours.

Through the desert.

Past Bedouins.

And camels.

And barren mountains.

To reach Herod's 1st century, once impregnable mountaintop fortress, Masada.

Following the Roman's (2,000 year old) lead, we hiked up the side of the mountain to reach its plateau peak.

This is the precise occasion when Caid revealed his dream of being a sniper one day.

Hurray.  

What noble aspirations the Holy Land inspire!

Atop Masada, we explored the archaeological remains of the Jewish settlement that thrived 1800 feet above the Dead Sea before they all killed themselves in 74 AD.

Heart-warming tale!

Yep, I wore a Lilly Pulitzer dress to hike Masada. Great decision for this windy climb. Just, brilliant.

That blinding sun, though

Masada remains

Shaka from Masada

We nearly blew away

Masada ruins

More Masada ruins

Later, we journeyed back down to Ein Ghedi and the Dead Sea for that iconic floating.

Which to be honest, while novel and exciting, was also slimy and fiery.

My kids ran into the Dead Sea and then ran right out, clutching their bottoms and screaming, "My bum is burning, my bum is burning!"

Darn salt.

We may as well have been waving a flag.

You can always find the Americans.

Day Four:

Back to Jerusalem. There Colson had the unique opportunity to break an expensive, hand-carved chotchkie. 

Of which we are now the proud owners.

That dang horse sits insolently as a reminder of what happens when you ignore Colson for more than 17 seconds.

Also, we discovered this Jerusalem treasure, the Etz Cafe, which donates its profits to support Arab-Israeli reconciliation in Jerusalem. Additionally, it provides food for the homeless population.

Several Messianic Jews serve there.  For Free. 

Too late for me to grab a husband.

But, not to grab some jewelry to support their ministry.

So, a win.

Overall, Israel is intriguing, enigmatic, and wholly indelible. 

Believe me, friends, my trip to Israel trumped the Donald's.  Like, bigly.  

These guys were a big hit

so stinky and they spit