"He Put a Ring on It"

Though it is all the rage in these financially uncertain days, unfortunately for “Vladmir of Petrograd”, my sister Rebekah will no longer be emigrating to Russia as a WASP mail order bride. Rather, within the provincial theatre of a Lehigh Valley pumpkin patch, she officially became engaged to Andrew Parry (distinguished from her brother, Andrew, though they remain very close). Rebekah’s auspicious attachment was celebrated with demure champagne sips from the lingering prohibitionists on the Kulp side. Even I, despite judgmental eyebrow waggles, imbibed at 9 months – Regrettably, “cocktail hour pregnancies” of the 1950s would have been far kinder to my conservative indulgence. Sigh. We are delighted by Rebekah’s ebullient relief, for the one who secures this sexy singleton’s affection (and hand) is truly the fortuitous one. So, as the sagely singer Beyonce suggests, he must have liked it because he did indeed put a ring on it.