Pittsburgh Deployment

Back in the ill-fated 90’s, when I had a uni-brow and framed posters of Joey Lawrence, my grandmother pluckily predicted that one day I would marry a Pittsburgh minister-humorously unfathomable in the clerical anomaly I would undoubtedly be. Such “yenta” prophecies are reliably resurrected when I revisit the home of the "Terrible Towel" and the most phonetically foreign phrases you’ll ever find (i.e. try explaining “Yinz’ go downa Youghiogheny River?” to an ESL student). Fortunately for the pastorate and Pittsburgh, I went “military.”

… Which was the impetus for this westward excursion. One perk of the service- aside from the eye candy of men in uniform and getting to watch Lifetime’s “Army Wives” with a knowing smile- is the spontaneous travel opportunities afforded/ insisted upon. In that my security clearance is not what I had hoped it would be, I am not at liberty to disclose the details of Jason’s activities this weekend, though I can reveal mine.

Eowyn, Kincaid and I enjoyed the company of my dear friend, Washington County socialite Shiloh Ryan and her petite rock stars-Malachi and Zeb. Play dates at the park, hikes up mountainous trails, feasts of specialty pizza and excursions to the downtown Children’s Museum qualified us, we humbly contend, for our own reality television show: Perhaps The Real Housewives of Montgomery County could feature the unscripted drama of middle class SAMs* on a budget. Though it might lack the sexiness of the Jersey Shore, bar-room brawls have nothing on a toddler-toy tug-a-war. . . toss in a few washed-up prom queens with mini-van road-rage and it’s fit for primetime. I adore Shiloh and her honesty: Only a true friend can critique your park play date outfit as “slumming it.” Eowyn also adores Shiloh and is completely transfixed by her dazzling smile.

Finally, we dined with my brilliant, Mandarin-speaking friend Mary, who upon making her acquaintance in 7th grade, disproved my patrician presumption that missionary kids lacked a sense of humor. And most admirably, Mary liked me before the tweezers disbanded my “Ernie eye brow” and my love affair with DC Talk still raged. Further, Eowyn relished the company of Mary’s beautiful and charming two-year old daughter Adaline, finding her to be a most compliant playmate- which to Eowyn is the best kind.

In close, many lovely moments made the insanity of spontaneous travel with an infant and a toddler worthwhile and I was gratified -once again- to be married to my own eye candy in uniform.

*** “SAM”- Stay At-home Moms