Baby Got Back: Postpartum Confessions

"These are pretty,"  Caid admired as he traced the spider veins on my leg.

Yes. Stunning.   

In fact, they are my best feature as I sashay into bathing suit season with a post-baby-bod that won't quit.

Like literally. We're in postpartum purgatory over here.

"Is there another baby in there?" inquire my two tactful boys.

Nope, kids. 

Just late night brownies and regret.  

Look, I know, I know. 

I grew a tiny human. (Actually *ahem*  four.)

And we all stand in awe at the magical capacity of the female body.

Selah.

Don't worry.

I preach the wonder of women.  And all that.

But still.  The fact remains.

There is some collateral damage that only a burkini can forgive.

I wrestle with that.  

(And I would wager I am not alone.)

So, that's where we're at.

Two months in. Savoring  every most seconds. Knowing they are fleeting.

Olivette is "tricky, tricky." (In the words of my ride or die girl, Jamie.)

And also Run DMC 

To say we are obsessed with her is like saying Trump dabbles with twitter.

We've got it bad for this little screamer.

Except she's not that little. 

Name another time in your life where a double-chin and thigh-rolls are adorable.

You can't.

Also, she's balding.  Passes gas indiscriminately. Constantly hiccups. And burps, loudly.

Basically a drunk old man in a baby's body.

And we can't get enough of her.

Which is good. Because she refuses to be left alone.

Or put down.

Or ignored.

Ever.

A diva, really.

BUT.

As my wise (and beautiful) friend Karina reminds, "These are *the* best years of our life."  

Four tiny humans that love me unconditionally.

Cellulite be damned.

So, as the east coast sizzles in a shroud of humidity- I'm just over here hauling my people to the pool (and the potty and VBS and sports camps).

Preaching Jesus.

Pretending to care about Beyblades.  

And praying they forgive all my failings.

Me: "Col, I'm impressed that you shared so generously!"

Not missing a beat.

Col:  "And I am impressed that you're losing your chub!"

*Round of Applause* 

It's a summer of small victories for everyone.

And I am grateful, thankful, blessed. (And other hashtags *wink*)