Old Mom, New Tricks

Millennials with babies. 
They've changed the parenting game.

They're all smash cakes and gender reveals and prenatal yoga. 

It's a bit exhausting. 

I mean, back in the day, we were happy to snag a JCPenny photo sesh before the kid's first birthday. 

Like, my firstborn's hospital photos looked like shaky Polaroids. 

No photo shoot with soft lighting. 

No monogrammed onesies. 

No Etsy-crafted headbands.

...a prehistoric time when vaccines weren't trigger points for mom riots.

And nary an organic food was be found in my pantry.

Not. a. single. one.

I was basically negligent.

So, wading back into the baby pool in my *ahem* late 30's required some recon.

Frankly, it was overwhelming. 

So, I went old-school. Mostly. 

Four months in with my fourth and here's what I recommend:

9. Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Almonds with Sea Salt. Eat smart and start here. BUT. Consider yourself warned. This snack of the gods is not safe within arm's reach. Can't stop. Won't stop. If you love chocolate or salt or almonds, you'll hate me for introducing you to this legal crack. 

8. Amazon. Duh. You already know this. Diapers by tomorrow? Done. A Godiva chocolate craving? Delivered by bath time. Toilet paper- down to two sheets? Out for delivery. Amazon saves lives.

7. The Solly Wrap. My "seasoned" mom friend Berit recommended this back-saving swath of fabric.  It's not cheap.  But, neither is a herniated disk.  If your baby liked the womb, then they'll love the Solly wrap.  It's a bougie papoose for the modern mom. You're welcome.

This chick is my "top knot" twin. 

6. Costco. Mainly, this is a reminder. Costco sells itself. It doesn't need me.  But, give it up anyhow for the endless samples and  $5 rotisserie chickens and a return policy that won't quit.  These days, a Costco trip is basically a play date. And every kid leaves happy with a nitrate-filled hotdog in hand. (Don't hate.)

5. The Spectra breast pump. Introducing this sexy upgrade to those Medela pumps we hauled around like the nuclear football in the early 2000s.   Loud and slurpy is replaced by "discreet and quiet."  At a Christmas party last year, my hilarious friend, Sam, confided, "Would you believe I am pumping right now?" I could not. And she continued to hang garland from a ladder.

And that's how Spectra won this convert.

4. Netflix. New mom up all night? Then, give me all the -not trashy- Netflix.

But wait. I stumbled upon this documentary every mom (and human) should watch:
The Long Goodbye. Kara Tippetts' fame initially grew through her blog- which I followed years ago. But, spoiler, she dies. Not to be glib- we (and she) all knew it was coming. Which is what makes this vlog/documentary so compelling. The super inspiring Kara Tippetts intentionally invested in her family for eternity. Mundane Faithfulness captures her life. And my own, I hope.

3. Podcast.  Just when your mind is going to mush and you can't string a sentence together: Podcasts to the rescue.  Everyone. Everyday. should listen to Dr. Albert Mohler's "The Briefing" as he examines current events through a Christian paradigm.  How gratifying to drive home from Trader Joe's with pumpkin butter AND an informed opinion on the "New NAFTA" deal!  Look at me knowing things.

2. Champagne Stopper. Now to the unsung hero of motherhood survival. When things get hairy, there is nothing so refreshing as a glass of Prosecco. Save the bottle for daysssss; sip the bubbly for longer with "the stopper."  My only regret is that I *just* discovered these little gems. Don't let another bottle to go flat. Amazon them today.  

And the last thing that I wholeheartedly recommend for parenting as an old mom. . .

1. Eowyn. Everyone should have one. My little English-speaking au pair with the big heart. I would be lost without her. She adores Olivette. And Olivette loves to be adored. A symbiotic relationship. Of which I'm a little jealous.

Surprise endings. Olivette is mine.

It's humbling and exhausting but lovely to go back to the beginning. Again.

Even if that makes me an old mom who must learn some new tricks.