We finally found the paradise to which everyone refers at the beachfront Waikiki Edition hotel. Their humble standard room accommodations start at a cool $500/night. I am not going to lie: I felt a bit like J-Lo sitting at their sunset pool sipping a frozen Coconut Mojito and eavesdropping on the lives of the rich and famous. On one fortuitous(?) floating occasion, we espied a paunchy, Hawaii Five-O producer whose beautiful, bikini-ed entourage endured his lament at the lack of Cristal in order to avail themselves for any “extra” spots on an upcoming episode. It was so hilariously cliché that I almost interrupted them to tell them so.
In truth, save for the generous military discount, the hotel clientele and my bourgeois entourage would never have been attended by the same obeisant towel boy. Interestingly, I have yet to discover an ugly employee to mar the beauty of these luxurious lodgings; even the valets look like this is just their day job when they’re not modeling for a GQ shoot. Fortunately, only my mom has the wandering eye and she left after one night's stay. J
As a final tribute for my mom (who is not dead), she valiantly proved her indispensability as our non-Norwegian au pair and still managed to consume more Ahi than Morimoto himself (and may soon resemble the fish). While my children can turn even the most frozen fundamentalist to the bottle (or in this case, multiple Mai Tais), her patience warranted canonization. Fortunately, (sarcasm resumed) I have also had the full benefit of her parental scrutiny and her “suggestions for child-rearing improvement.”
Meanwhile, my children have graciously rallied to confirm her critiques and have behaved horridly. Okay, primarily, it has been Kincaid who makes a sham of my Dobson devotion. Not surprising to anyone but him, Caid was awarded the inaugural grandchild spanking and “Nonnie” was awarded his bottle rifled at her head. (Side commentary: It’s fairly apparent: Kincaid will either have an impressive criminal record or an impressive pitching one.)
1 comment:
OK, after I got out my dictionary and looked up a TON of the words you used, I have to say this post rocks! You had me literally laughing out loud. Your mom gets major props as well as your arms. How many hours a day do you work out lady?? Love the last pic too, more props for keepin it real.
Welcome to Boyhood!
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