No Worries

Three weeks has been sufficient time to conclude that I will never be mistaken for a “kama‘aina” (native Hawaiian):

 I don’t live to surf. I can generally be found in shoes and a shirt. And as a card-carrying Yankee WASP, I will never invoke the adage, “No Worries.” In fact, on each occasion that I audience this colloquial idiom, I want to shout, “WORRIES!” Be worried! When you cut us off on Kamehamehama highway, driving 10 miles below the speed limit, with your cousins playing ukuleles in the bed of your pick-up truck, BE WORRIED.  

A second cousin to the gracious “No Worries” maxim is the symbol for “Hang Loose” (Shaka) which doubles as a Hawaiian greeting and concurrently, an appeal to relax.  This Saturday, while attending the Aloha Flower Parade in Waikiki, it was abundantly apparent that “Shaka” is the currency gesture du jour, as even genteel, buttoned-up politicians enthusiastically proffered a “double” hang loose. Personally, this looked more like an obscenity in sign language, rather than a bipartisan greeting, but what do I know? I am not a Kama’aina.  

Apparently, “No worries” and “hang loose” affect every aspect of Hawaiian life from driving to personal grooming. From the vantage point of our parade seats, we were afforded two exemplary, (woefully ineradicable) images.  First, the woman who shared my portion of pavement had “no worries” about trimming her toe-nails. Disturbing as it was to espy, I felt compelled to (surreptitiously) document this very profane plea for a pedicure.  

Additionally, two toga-attired parade participants swaggered by my toddler with the confidence of those who “hang loose.” And both gentlemen -quite literally- did. (Pictured below). Perhaps it is culturally insensitive to remark upon this “National Geographic” type pageantry. But I will anyhow. Fortunately, Eowyn was distracted by the whine-worthy absence of candy-throwing firemen. Reliably, she is far more indignant about the injustice of her lollipop poverty than the dishabille of two misplaced fraternity brothers. And being confident of this,  I photographed the exhibitionists with almost "no worries."