Hilton Head Vol. IV: South in the Mouth

Bucolic Bluffton Southern Living and Southern Lady are my indispensible travel bibles, directing our every vacation expedition with Clark Griswold-like zeal. In recent days, we have visited the charming town of Bluffton which boasts of a pre-Civil War church having valiantly survived Sherman’s fated march and now perches pristinely astride the May River.

Harbortown was touted as a Hilton Head “must see” attraction and it was. Ironically, each year that we have visited HH, our famed Kulp frugality has (literally) compelled U-turns as we approached the gated entrance where an imposing rent-a-cop exacts a five dollar "donation" to SCDOT. However, this year, we surrendered (albeit reluctantly) the cash and gained admittance to the Kentucky Derby of Rockwellian seaside holidays: God-fearing “rebels” in their Sunday finest – pink cheeked little girls in embroidered dresses and luminous, lovely boys with comb-overs in monogrammed Jon-Jons licked ice cream cones while grasping the hand of their adoring sear-sucker appareled daddy. Words like “spanking,” “Sunday School,” “vouchers” and “hunting” flowed like sweet tea on a summer day. This idyllic utopia of “Americana” was ensconced by a perfect procession of yachts framing the candy-cane-striped lighthouse that lures (less cheap) islanders to espy a view worth far more than the cost. We fell in love at first sight.

Finally, despite the daunting 100 degree temperatures, our Savannah excursion held the illusive promise of a private Paula Deen reception during which we would certainly become fast friends. (Jason advised that I not act on my knowledge of her home address -I’ll let you speculate on my plan.) Instead, after personally leading our family on a walking tour around the antebellum Eden, we convened at Paula’s delightful bistro, The Lady & Son's for consummate Southern cuisine.

Delightfully, it has all been -as Paula insists-unforgettable “South in the Mouth.” The Lady and Son's Beautiful Savannah