Hilton Head Vol.III: The Pied Piper

Every night, Shelter Cove Harbour, features a children’s concert with “acclaimed” (by toddlers?) entertainer Shannon Tanner. Now, before we had our own little tax write-offs, I found these performances to be torturous, akin to water-boarding. However, since Eowyn and Kincaid’s advent and the pursuant permanence of the Veggie Tale’s playlist on my iPod, Shannon Tanner does seem acclaimed, even to me.

Last evening, we corralled our sun-stroked progeny to this lullaby lollapalooza primarily because it was free. All the kids were invited onstage to join Shannon Tanner in a rousing chorus of the “ABCs” and other such tutorial rhapsodies. Eowyn was captivated, immobilized in awe – a rare feat. Naturally, I encouraged her to join her peers onstage although she vehemently declined the opportunity. . .until she could no longer resist the magnetism of Shannon “The Pied Piper” Tanner. It was like a Southern Baptist altar call: She hesitated at first, meandering slowly to the edge of the platform and then before I could focus my camera lens, she had reappeared on center stage, flanking the microphone and gazing-star-struck- up at the man behind the music. In fact, there she remained for the duration of the sing-along, as kids were invited to “karaoke” their favorite children’s melody. Who knew that Black Eyed Peas and Taylor Swift ballads now qualify as children’s’ melodies- for six year olds? What?! The tragedy of innocence lost. I digress.

At the close of this eclectic concert, Shannon “Piper” Tanner urged the children to locate their parents and return together to dance to Steven Curtis Chapman’s “Cinderella” (bringing a moral conclusive tone to the event). However, Eowyn was not interested in finding her parents in the least. She refused to vacate the stage, so transfixed was she by this Hilton Head celebrity. Even Jason’s petition for a place on her dance card was denied. Since Shannon “Piper” Tanner commands such respect and admiration from my daughter, I am presently attempting to contour my voice to sound just like his. Thankfully, her truly "acclaimed" grandparents have finally arrived and they are -in fact- very entertaining.